Shame..

Got back from umrah two days ago alhumdulilah and here I am.

And all me hair's gone!

I could probably talk about a million and one things but that would take too long and I’m far too lazy.

But one thing sticks in my mind and that’s when I went to give salaam to the Prophet (Peace be upon him). You know, you go there and you know more or less what to expect as I’ve been there before. But as I approached his blessed grave, it hit me. I realised where I was coming to and into whose presence. It was then that an overwhelming feeling of shame came over me and I broke down into tears.

I realised how unworthy I was of being in the presence of the greatest of creation. All of my sins came to the forefront of my mind and I realised how much I had let him down. I remembered the long nights he used to pray into the night for his ummah and the way in which I had repaid him.

People ask if it’s the same every time you go to Makkah or Madina, and the answer is simply no. For me it forces me to look at all my deeds and to realise just how little I’ve done and its insignificance.

After that episode, I just sat down in Masjid Nabawi and pondered what to do next.

Now I want to go back.